It’s a Fedora!*

2008/06/05 in movies, spoiler
Tags: Indiana Jones, Indy, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, KotCS, Review

In the meantime, I’ve seen it too. The movie which was mentioned and floating around in heads for the first time in 1991 (or so the rumor goes). But Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis was made instead (still rumor). So what we got now was Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (FoA was already used, right?). Here’s where the critics may start. Over the years several scripts were written (reportedly) and re-written but always rejected, because all three, Lucas, Spielberg and Ford had to give it a go. Therefore one is to believe, that KotCS is the best thing the mighty Lucas Empire could come up with in 17 years. Really?!? The movie clearly has no bright spots over a movie that was done in a really limited amount of time. Say 6 months. Why the wait then? The movie gives no clues.
Every previous movie started with an atmospheric action beat, here’s the first shocker, 4 doesn’t start jonesish at all. It features some greasers driving around in their car and listening to loud music (which at least was the King). The entire audience felt this way, everyone thought for a short while that they went into the wrong movie theater… It was alienating. But more to that later… But again, it’s hard to understand how the filmmakers could have missed that. It must have been intentional.
Still, the beginning/opening scene let’s Indy see the place where the ark was stored in Raiders’ ending (although there’s no indication he realizes it, or even could), which is even shown to the audience (but not to Indy) when the crate is damaged (the music switches to the RotLA soundtrack as well to create an eerie feeling). This scene establishes the way in which most of the movie works, it feels a little wrong and out of place, but still comes with a sense of redemption at the same time.
It’s the same with some jokes, the ground squirrels (before and after the explosion) just don’t really fit with Indiana Jones. But every few script pages have to contain a gag, no matter what, right?
Oh and Mac is introduced. Indy’s “friend”. He’s also some kind of a flaw, he’s around for almost the entire movie, but no one cares about him. He’s that generic/unimportant. Wu Han from Temple of Doom left more of an impression, although he got shot during the introduction, only a few minutes into the adventure/film.
Another downside of this long awaited sequel is, that it just doesn’t bring the reunions with it, that the audience wanted (and by the audience I mean, for example, MYSELF). Where’s John Rhys-Davies? Why all the wait? I wanted Sallah. Denholm Elliott died unfortunately, so I guess it’s okay to say his character died too. With Connery as his dad it’s different (the photograph and again the appropriate, recognizable music from Last Crusade is used), they could have come up with something cool. He’s away excavating… something. Okay, that’s sadly not cool, but the general idea should be clear, just state he’s fine, but currently elsewhere. Like Connery.
Karen Allen is cool though. There is this distant feeling, that she isn’t used to acting that much anymore as she still was in Raiders, but again, it’s nice she appeared in 4.
What’s seriously overdone, are all the age remarks or jokes attached to this. Sure, it obviously needed to be addressed, but there are limits in which this is appealing. A guy who jumps around and beats countless enemies to dust doesn’t need to state how old he is all the time. That’s ridiculous. Everything is perfectly fine. No need to worry… Rambo doesn’t tell his age either, Rambo KILLS. That’s the way to go!
There’s even “a crime” bundled with this. He himself doesn’t use the term Indiana Jones anymore… Can you believe that? I don’t care about your age Indiana Jones! Call your dog Henry, if you must.
Luckily the family elements didn’t turn out as bad as predicted. Sure, I hate “everything family”, but it could have been WAY worse. Really much worse… Even Shia LaBeouf (Codename JarJar) wasn’t that annoying, although (of course) I still hated him (at least a little bit). I can claim that I only hated him in a fashion, that wasn’t movie-ruining. I’m, however, still praying that there will never be a movie continuation with him as Indy’s successor (rumors say this is what’ll happen). No seriously, his char wasn’t that bad.
In the end, the first thing that makes and breaks movies is the plot. As hinted earlier, this movie doubtless had not the best in the series. As for all “family feelings” bits and pieces, they so very often only serve as a substitute for really good stories, when writers put the always same cheap exploitation techniques to work (which is part of why I dislike their [mis]use so much).
I’m also still asking myself, if Aliens pass as the usual folklore, since the later was the core of the flicks, the big frame around all previous adventures. I certainly would like to learn which ideas the discarded scripts offered. I really have a hard time to accept that this was their very best idea.
Finally, while still no one cared how Mac ended, the movie didn’t explain exactly what happened to Irina Spalko. Did she die? Or was she “taken” by the interdimensional beings (it seems they were inspired by this theory)… The way I see it, both explanations would work.

Although I focused on all the negative aspects, it seems, I didn’t think the movie was bad, just that it’s not the movie one could have hoped for (are they ever?) after such a long time being in progress. The rest is mainly good. This is the movie no one is angry about seeing, but most people won’t even consider going twice to. The IMDb rating of a ~7 seems fair, where Raiders is more of a ~9.

*Refers to a stupid radio moderator, who didn’t even know what Indy puts an his head… A, a… hat (the guy who gives Indy his hat in Last Crusade, is even called “Fedora” in the credits)? Geez… Seriously, you shouldn’t be on the air. Write a blog if you have to produce yourself…